It's me, Nick. I know you don't hear from me near enough. I don't go to church as often as I should and I know I do things that probably aren't very pleasing to you. But God, I have a special request today. You see, when I have gone to church in the past, I have heard the Preacher always talk about the fact that you might be considering coming back some day. I don't know all the details of that, but God, if you could do me just one small favor. You see, I have these 4 awesome children that you gave me but one of them is a daughter.
She can be so great but I think she could possibly have multiple personalities. One minute she is sweet as can be and the next, she will be biting my head off or throwing the biggest fit I've ever seen. She is only 7 now and is already talking about "cute boys." She spends a lot of time talking on the phone and talking in a language that I don't understand. (TMI? ROTFL? BTW? IDTS? BFFF? OMG?) I spend a lot of time confused when I hear her and her talk. She also likes to put boys names inside of hearts all over every piece of paper in the house and she LOVES to put her Mom's lipstick on and leave kissy prints on the mirrors. She snaps her fingers and puts her hands on her hips like she deserves celebrity treatment. So God, if you could just do me one favor, if it's not asking too much, if you are going to, in fact, return to Earth, would you please make it happen before Emma is a teenager? I just don't think I am going to be able to handle all of that.