My wife and I were raised very differently so we have completely opposite views on raising children. Maybe it was the "opposites attract" theory that brought us together because we are different as day and night. When we met at age 18, I could probably count on both hands how many times I could remember going to church as a child. She grew up with her Dad being a Minister so she went to church every time the doors were open. She could count on both hands how many spankings she got when she was a kid......there's no way to ever count how many I got! My family only sees each other on Holidays.......she talks to both of her parents and her 3 sisters daily, sometimes several times a day. We always ate dinner in front of the TV when I was growing up....her family sat together, gave thanks for their meal and then ate together. You get the point. And now we have 4 kids ourselves and I can't tell you how many times a day we clash. Example.
Today, our 5 year old walked into the living room with a fork in his hand. He wanted a book his sister had and she wouldn't give it to him. He reached out to hit the book with the fork and instead, accidentally stabbed our 8 year old son in the nose with it! I immediately sent him to his room. I didn't care if it was lunch time. I didn't care that he was crying to get out. He needed some type of correction and that was the best solution at the time. Not even 2 minutes later, my wife walked into his bedroom and told him to come eat. This is a common occurance at our house. She said she didn't want him to miss lunch. I thought he should have stayed in their 10-15 minutes and then he could have come out and ate his lunch. But she couldn't bare the thought of him missing out on eating lunch with the rest of us. Maybe I'm too harsh. Maybe she's too easy. I don't know but it seems so hard to compromise when it comes to raising our children.
Are we the only one's who have this problem?!
*The picture in this post is NOT my own and was taken from another site on the internet*
My husband grew up in a very strict, southern Baptist, beat that bottom red kind of family. I could not have grown up more different. Thanksfully, he doesn't feel like his upbringing is something he wants to continue with our daughter. We both agree there will need to be swift, decisive punishments - but they will never be physical.
ReplyDeleteCompromise is a tricky thing. Both my wife and I were never hit as kids when punishments were in order so we probably won't hit our own, but timeouts and not eating, I think, are acceptable forms of punishments. Kids need to learn that they can't get away with acting the fool.
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not alone in this...my husband is more strict than I am...therefore, when he tries to do the disciplining, I am there trying to protect my babies :) I only let him have his way when there is danger involved. Otherwise...well, I confess, I butt in....shame on me...
ReplyDeleteNew to your blog...I look forward to reading more!
My husband and I go around and around and around sometimes. "You're undermining my authority." Is a common phrase between us.
ReplyDeleteI have no advice.... just sympathy. When you figure out the trick to co-parenting I'd be happy to hear it. :)